oil slicks and yellow bile

i can see the sky
in oil slicks and yellow bile.
three words bludgeoned to pulp
ochre muddling the air below my feet.

with every tooth scraped finger,
you’d figure it’s all leaving –
but every sheen on asphalt fills my mouth
with as many petals as it does thorns.

never cease to push at my skull,
you, reminder made incarnate.
without staring at the tarmac,
i wouldn’t be able to see at all.
so sink into the cushion

the weight of was
teetering on your kneecaps
keen to crush bone into oil

a swell at your sacrum
naggingly reminding
that you can only meet at stillness

your fingers digging into the plane ahead
assuming that each scrape of the surface means any more than

the last
so sink into the cushion
where knuckles straightened
and malice became plush

what was once held is
one with the weight below you
before my eardrums burst

with my eyes on the floor
the hardwood ceased whispering

i bite my tongue
your body a monolith

i wish i could see
that never summited peak

but before a glimpse
my neck would break

caught between the weight of death’s stone
and that of my own head

so please, play that one song
to the tune of tinnitus

i want to hear what i am now
before my eardrums burst with it all
void ≠ vault

take this with a brick of salt —
a lit match upside down.
the void is not a vault.
i knew it then, I know it now.

impermanence, moving and inert.
your flesh covered by a sheet.
though all wish to remain unhurt,
decay does not retreat.

each and every phone call
that are all too sore for sound
echo out of crumbled walls
long past nobody around.

the dust replaced the dirt —
marred the ground and mangled feet.
so slide, pieces of Earth,
until the only thing to rot are teeth.
in oil, in amber

i hear your voice when I don’t speak
everybody says it, no one does
bring the flowers, smell them once
the son of man, a chair, the other cheek
solace is created, not found
only once passing, viewed in the round
on display; in oil, in amber
it crushes me into the ground

no matter
i watched it disperse
clean keeled
let the cold water run
piercing dots in the tile
each one eventually falls
its contents run too cold
to not condense on the skin
a body never present

a loop
death surrounds the monitor like a privacy screen
no ins and outs
opaque, When thumbs can’t suffice
condolence scrolled into ether
a body never present

i think often of what went with you
though it’s not seen
it’s carved in smoke
a thought made manifest
that electric current reminds me
one can’t help but to seek what they don’t have
all too sore for sound

i had a feeling, however briefly
the matador to my Ferdinand
orion's alpha
like those bloodstains on hard wood
i felt you fall
an arrow through the hunters right shoulder
a 6:30 some phone call

and I see you
among a sea of seats you stand
this is no place
nether from 90 degrees
skin shifted red
yours replaces mine

i am coded in your handwriting
you fill the space between the on and off
you are nowhere
but lay me down where you want to be
under this redshifted aether
all too sore for sound

open cut, the knuckle
the dust settled
rust cauterized
more sick motionless
too still
nothing left to be less than